Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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