I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
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I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
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she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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