Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
