ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
