the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
