Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize