I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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