Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
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So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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