good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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