She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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