I look better un-naked...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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