No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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