kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
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You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
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to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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