My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
did you just send me my own nude
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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