i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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