I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize