I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
