the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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