He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
