HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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