Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
