Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
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We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
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I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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