at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
