I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize