Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
