I puked a lego.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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