How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
