What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
