butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
