He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
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i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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