3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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