In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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