i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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