I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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