Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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