if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I am naked and annoyed.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
