it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
In America we eat man semen.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
