Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
