ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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