just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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