...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
