if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
