I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you didnt know i had herpes?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
