And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
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i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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