he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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