dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
