HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
