Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?