I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.