I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.