Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
