Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
