is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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