She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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