i would punch a child for taco bell
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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