I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize