I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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