Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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