I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize