I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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