1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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