if you like me you must not know who I am
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
