I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
